Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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