i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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