If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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