I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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