John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize