The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize