she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
