It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
