Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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