dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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