you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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