He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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