I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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