Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
