I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
