Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
