Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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