i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
