Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
