You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
