TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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