I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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