If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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