can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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