She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
