glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
