I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize