ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
