Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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