well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
