What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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