The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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