I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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