im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
