Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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