Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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