So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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