Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
