Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
