We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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