On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
