Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can text with my tongue
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I didn't notice because vodka
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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