So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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