My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
a search helicopter?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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