i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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