I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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