i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize