he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
