Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
