Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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