i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
