she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
