You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Randomize
